BEYOND TEARS
by Brenda Looney
I cannot cry and wonder why. The entire nation is in deep
mourning and I feel so numb ... beyond tears.
It all started like any other day. The sun was shining brightly as I
sat down at my computer to check my e-mail while sipping my morning
coffee. Outside my window I viewed a beautiful red cardinal chirping a
sweet song up in the tree. I stopped and looked over at him and felt
happy to witness such a marvelous scene. I thought to myself briefly
that today would be a great day to go out into my garden and begin some
fall clean up. The small television in my computer room was tuned into
one of the morning news shows. I heard the excited news commentator say
that a plane had just struck the World Trade Center in New York. I spun
around in my chair to watch in horror......and I couldn't believe what I
was seeing.
It was like watching a movie and didn't seem real. I couldn't take my
eyes off the screen and as if this plane crash wasn't enough......about
twenty minutes later another plane crashed into the second tower of the
World Trade Center. What was happening? The smoke, debris, shattered
glass and the collapse of both buildings was so surreal. I felt numb yet
mesmerized and could not turn away from the television set.
The media of television and radio continued to broadcast what had
turned out to be a terrorist attack against the United States of
America. For the first time in MY life this country had been
attacked on our own soil. I never thought it could happen here ... not
in America. The horrors of war and the carnage that follows has always
been something that happens in foreign lands. America was always
protected from such attacks. I along with the rest of the country felt
safe and lived without fear.
I turned to my husband and asked him what the date was. He replied,
"It's September the 11th." A shiver came over me as I realized it was
the anniversary of my father's death. It had been 38 years since he left
me. I wanted to cry out to him and feel his comforting arms around me
telling me that everything was going to be all right. I felt if he were
looking down from Heaven he would surely be mourning for what had
happened to our great country.
My attention turned back to the television. Heartbreaking story after
story was unfolding. Many have lost their lives ... over 6,000 at the
time of this writing. I listened to the stories of how some of the
victims on the hijacked planes called their loved ones on their cell
phones ... to tell them "I love you" and to say "good-bye" so bravely.
In a perfect and unprecedented display of democracy, the passengers
aboard United Airlines Flight 93 voted and agreed to overthrow their
hijackers after learning the other two hijacked planes had crashed into
the World Trade Center buildings. Their plane did crash, but not on the
area targeted by the hijackers thus saving many lives. These men and
women should be hailed as heroes in the highest degree! I watched the
firefighters and other rescuers covered in ash work furiously moving the
rubble in attempt to recover thousands buried under the massive amounts
of concrete. Few were found alive and mostly "pieces" of bodies were
recovered. The rescue dogs faithfully worked beside their masters
helping with the search ... even with cut pads on their feet from
climbing across the sharp shards of rubble. Human and canine companion
searchers are heroes for continuing the search with steeled
determination. Many selfless firemen and rescue workers entered these
burning buildings and died trying to save others. There are countless
people whose lives have been touched and are mourning for their lost
loved ones. Sadly, most will not even have the closure of having a body
to bury.
Americans from all over the country have joined together to do
whatever they can to help in any and every way. Thousands have lined up
to give blood and there are many donations flooding into the Red Cross.
There have been prayer vigils and memorial services in virtually all
cities across this great nation and around the globe. Millions of
candles have been lit in America and throughout the world in memory of
those who have died.
I hung my flag outside and then looked down the street at all the
other homes displaying their American flags and the vision formed a lump
in my throat. Perhaps it took this horrible attack to remind me and make
me appreciate all the more that I'm an American ... something I feel
I've taken for granted for too long. Flags are waving in store fronts,
on car antennas and people are wearing patriotic pins. This nation is in
mourning but our resolve and solidarity is strong and ever present.
There were many lives touched and affected by this horrific attack on
the United States. The evil terrorists think ... believe ... that they
have hurt us. We do feel the pain and loss but are not destroyed as they
had hoped. On the contrary, Americans are more united than ever and
determined to rebuild. America is also committed to make the terrorists
pay dearly for this attack on the United States. We shall hunt them down
and destroy them. They will not go unpunished. Our enemies have
absolutely no idea how strong and united we are now.
I watched President Bush speak to the nation on television. I saw all
our representatives stand to applaud again and again. For once there was
no bickering or division. Democrats and Republicans stood in strong
unity with one another. All are determined to protect America at any
cost. We have a new resolve and mission to find and punish those
responsible for this most unforgivable act of terrorism on our soil.
Our troops have been deployed and the search is on to find the
terrorists. The task at hand is great as they have infiltrated many
countries. The mission will be a long one and many more Americans will
lose their lives before it is over. I am proud and thankful to the men
and women of our military. God bless them all and keep them safe.
Is this the end of the world as I know it? Are we destined to live in
constant fear of further terrorist attacks? Can't we just go
back....back to before this all happened? I want my life to be as it
was. I don't want to think about war and all the ugliness and death and
hurt that it will bring. Why...why did this have to happen?
Driving home today as I stopped for a light at an intersection, there
was a fireman in the middle of the street carrying a fireman's boot
collecting money for the World Trade Center relief fund. I scooped some
money from my purse and dropped it into his boot. The light changed and
I screamed out, "I want this to stop and be over!" I was surprised by my
outburst, but found myself finally angry and frustrated. The dam I'd
built up inside myself since this nightmare first began finally opened.
I am now feeling the hurt for all this great country has lost and for
all those who are suffering. I also fear for the future of America and
how life will change ... yet the tears still do not fall. The hell that
has dropped on America is much too terrible and far beyond tears.
Gone is the age of innocence. America has been wounded. There will be
tighter security to protect us and along with that the loss of some of
our personal freedom and privacy. I fear the "best of times" are behind
us and I grieve for the world our children will face from now on. I hope
I am wrong. I pray that the Eagle will rise out of the ashes and soar
stronger than ever, spreading its wings of protection over America.
Our Statue of Liberty still stands proudly and strong as ever over
the emptiness of the skyline where the twin buildings of the World Trade
Center once were. Her torch is held high as a beacon to the rest of the
world. We will not forget the date, September 11, 2001. Each of us will
forever remember where we were and what we were doing when we heard the
unthinkable news. Our lives are forever changed. We have renewed our
patriotism and are united to fight against our enemies who seek to
destroy us.
May God Bless America!
"Whether we bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our
enemies, justice will be done." President George W. Bush
"God Bless The USA - I'm Proud To Be an American!"
If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life, And
I had to start again with just my children and my wife, I'd thank my
lucky stars to be living here today, 'Cause the flag still stands for
freedom and they can't take that away.
I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free, And I
won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me, And I gladly
stand up next to you and defend her still today, 'Cause there ain't no
doubt I love this land God Bless the U.S.A.
From the lakes of Minnesota to the hills of Tennessee, Across the
plains of Texas from sea to shining sea. From Detroit down to Houston
and New York to L.A., There's pride in every American heart and it's
time we stand and say:
I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free, And I
won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me, And I gladly
stand up next to you and defend her still today, 'Cause there ain't no
doubt I love this land God Bless the U.S.A.
~~~~~~~
As the soot and dirt and ash rained down,
We became one
color.
As we carried each other down the stairs of the
burning
building,
We became one class.
As we lit candles of waiting and
hope,
We became one generation.
As the firefighters and police
officers fought their
way into the inferno,
We became one
gender.
As we fell to our knees in prayer for strength,
We became
one faith.
As we whispered or shouted words of encouragement,
We
spoke one language.
As we gave our blood in lines a mile long,
We
became one body.
As we mourned together the great loss,
We became
one family.
As we cried tears of grief and loss,
We became one
soul.
As we retell with pride of the sacrifice of heroes,
We
become one people.
We are
One color
One class
One generation
One
gender
One faith
One language
One body
One family
One
soul
One people
We are The Power of One.
We are United.
We
are America.
~~~~~~
In the Lord I put my trust;
How can you say to my soul,
"Flee as a bird to your mountain"?
For look! The wicked bend their bow,
They make ready their arrow on the string,
That they may shoot secretly at the upright in heart.
If the foundations are destroyed,
What can the righteous do?
The Lord is in His holy temple,
The Lord’s throne is in heaven;
His eyes behold,
His eyelids test the sons of men.
The Lord tests the righteous,
But the wicked and the one who loves violence His soul hates.
Upon the wicked He will rain coals;
Fire and brimstone and a burning wind
Shall be the portion of their cup.
For the Lord is righteous,
He loves righteousness;
His countenance beholds the upright.
Psalm 11
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